


This Is The New Year

by gelandspray



Series: Lay It All Down [23]
Category: Glee
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, Trans, Trans Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 11:39:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4563231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gelandspray/pseuds/gelandspray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unique and Kurt throw a queer and trans New Year’s party; Kurt gets to thinking more about something he’s been considering; and Kurt and Blaine ring in the New Year with great plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is The New Year

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies to the anon on tumblr who I told I would post this part “very, very soon!” I had planned on posting it on my birthday (which was Friday) as a sort of reverse birthday present, but then I reread it and found too many problems. So, here we are (almost a week later), longer than it was when I was going to originally post it, and I’m still not 100% pleased, but I’m finally posting it! Sorry!

Blaine and Kurt’s first Christmas together came and went. Of course, they spent the actual day of Christmas apart, because they each had families to be with and Blaine only had so much time with his parents. Kurt didn’t get to meet Blaine’s parents – he’d dropped Blaine off at his house before his parents got home – and he felt that this was probably intentional on Blaine’s part, but Kurt decided it was best not to push it. He could only assume that Blaine had his reasons and those reasons probably had a lot to do with why Blaine himself doesn’t seem to enjoy spending time talking to his parents. It’s Christmas time, if Blaine wants to spare him negativity, Kurt will take it, put it off for another day. Instead, he’ll focus on the Christmas duet they playfully performed together and the instinctual feeling in his gut, along his spine, and up to tingle at the nerves climbing up his head that this would be a ritual that will span years and years, maybe different songs in different places and among different people, but consistent nonetheless. He could save meeting Blaine’s parents for another time, another year, another decade even, because he can feel that they will have that time.

And, with that, their time in Ohio comes to a close just before New Year. Burt, having bonded with Blaine during their stay, is sad to see the two of them go, but Unique proposed to Kurt that they have a queer and trans New Year’s party in their loft and he couldn’t say no. Since their talk a little while back, Unique has taken the initiative to not only find a trans choir in New York, but also make some good friends there, including (Kurt suspects) a boyfriend. Kurt hasn’t met this boyfriend yet and he has only heard about this guy Unique met and clearly has a crush on (though Unique has suspiciously stopped asking for advice about what to do about her crush and hasn’t said anything about anything _bad_ happening – thus Kurt hopefully assumes that something _good_ happened), but he trusts that he will like this guy if Unique does and he can’t and won’t pass up on the opportunity to meet him.

Blaine also can’t pass up the opportunity to get the band together to play something more relaxed than what June sets up for him. Santana is back in New York; Dani, as always, is as well; and Blaine isn’t bogged down with schoolwork. Sam can’t make it because he’s spending New Year’s with his family, but Kurt thinks that’s just fine because, as much as he loves how much Sam loves Blaine, he doesn’t know how well Sam’s “it’s hard to be a white, straight man” shtick would have gone over with this crowd. Kurt probably wouldn’t have told Sam he couldn’t come, but he’s not sure what it would have been like for a straight guy like Sam to be at a queer and trans party like this and, in the end, the trio of Blaine’s band does just fine one man down. As always, as Blaine’s band performs, Kurt can feel the pride – and, yes, honestly, arousal – surround him. He looks around at the numerous guests in the loft (Unique seems to have maybe erred on the side of inviting a few too many guests) and sees the way that the audience is as entertained and thrilled as ever. New crowd, same response – Blaine gets them, charms them through earnestness and openness, entices them with his expressions, and amuses with his dancing, but Kurt’s maybe just a little bit biased. After all, Blaine does dedicate a song to him.

It’s after this song that Kurt meets Theo, Unique’s boyfriend (Kurt was right about that). Kurt has been scanning the room since the party started for the handsome, black trans guy from the photos Unique has shown him – only to have him smoothly saunter up beside him in the last fading beats of Blaine’s song.  

“Your boy is quite the charmer. He certainly knows how to play his cards right,” the pseudo-stranger says, gesturing towards Blaine, who is hesitantly accepting the drink Santana shoves in his hand.

“Yeah, he does. I guess it’s pretty obvious he’s my boyfriend,” Kurt acquiesces, chuckling at Blaine’s obvious wink from onstage before he downs the drink and coughs and cringes at the no doubt super strong taste of cheap alcohol.

“It’s pretty obvious, yeah,” Theo agrees with a loud, barking laugh, “But I also know because Unique talks about you all the time and that includes talking about your boyfriend,” he explains. “I’m Theo, Unique’s boyfriend. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. I’m _particularly_ glad I get to meet you as ‘ _Unique’s boyfriend,_ ’” Kurt teasingly emphasizes, giving Theo what might be called Kurt’s trademark appraising look. He isn’t disappointed on Unique’s behalf. Theo hasn’t walked straight off the runway, more like out of a no doubt vast collection of T-shirts, chinos, and flannel, but he wears it well, he seems to accessorize well, and his glasses suit his familiarly round-cheeked face. However, ultimately, (and people might be shocked to hear this from Kurt) what matters isn’t the fashion, but that, based on Theo’s bright, wide smile, he seems happy and, above all, Kurt wants Unique to be in a relationship with two people who make each other happy.

“I’m glad to _be_ Unique’s boyfriend,” Theo promises.

“You better be,” Unique teases good-naturedly, as she struts over and slips her hand to intertwine with Theo’s. “Come on, honey. I called dibs on the first spot after the band, so it’s time for a duet,” she declares, to which Theo mock-groans and Kurt laughs, watching the two of them take over the microphone from where it’s still loosely held in a distracted Blaine’s hand.

As the night goes on, this party continues much in this way, either songs interspersed with conversations or conversations interspersed with songs, which presents Kurt with the platform for practicing his two best honed skills from high school: stealing the stage when he can and, when he can’t, mostly fading in the background and keenly and carefully listening. With Blaine’s band done with their set, the microphone and instruments are free for anyone to use and, since they are all musical in one way or another, the microphone is not left unattended for very long and Kurt himself takes a turn on the microphone, or two, three…or four, including doing a duet with Blaine. However, aside from singing, Kurt spends the party looking around at transmasculine folks in various stages of transition and it reminds him of all the decisions he can make.

He sees pre-T folks like himself and he sees folks who delightedly disclose, through happy voice cracks, that they are newly on T, and he sees folks with thick beards and deep voices, who Kurt overhears giving their tips and tricks, ranging from comforting tales of overcoming a fear of needles to confessions that it’s been years but they still worry every time that they are going to do it wrong and inject it in the wrong place or the wrong way. There are guys fawning over the beards and body hair of folks who’ve been on T longer. (Theo is one of the guys who particularly enjoys fawning over and praising facial and body hair as he pats at his own patchy beginnings of a beard and it’s adorable how Unique will playfully chide and laugh at him for it.) There are also folks getting advice about singing and voice cracks, which makes Kurt keenly interested. He slides over to listen to this conversation in particular, learning all kinds of things about singing and how to train the voice as it changes…and it all touches on something Kurt has been thinking about more and more recently.

In the past, Kurt has said that he doesn’t want to start T because he’s been afraid to lose his singing voice – and he’s still afraid of this – but lately, with Sheldon on T, surrounded by people from whom he can see the effects, and from an increasingly insistent desire to look like he’s aged past fifteen and is actually an adult man, Kurt isn’t so sure on his stance. That self-deprecating joke about always looking pre-pubescent that Kurt made when he was back home acted as a light bulb moment for him and, since then, it’s been like the flash went off on a camera and suddenly he could see what’s been in the dark of uncertainty. He’s debated hormones in the future but now it’s a keen desire and the only debate is _when_ and _how_.

There are so many logistical things to consider. He has to think about so many variables and he finds himself checking out a little trying to keep track of all the possibilities. He has to think about a therapist, an endocrinologist, a vocal trainer, his NYADA academics, and, last and _absolutely not least_ , he has to think about the money. He has to think about the cost of a therapist for however long they feel it takes until they are willing to write a letter on his behalf and the money for finding an endocrinologist and the money for the testosterone itself. So, he has to consider going to the NYADA counselors to save money that way, while considering if they will have any sort of knowledge of anything trans-related. He has to think about if he would want to try to start T before he graduates from NYADA and see if any of the vocal coaches would take him on to train through the voice cracks or if it would simply put his grades in jeopardy. He has all of these thoughts swimming in his head and he knows it isn’t making him a very good host.

Kurt has spent the last ten minutes or so hiding in the kitchen and flashing hesitant smiles at those who come in to grab another drink, neglecting actually working the crowd at his own party. He feels sort of bad that he isn’t making a better impression on Theo and he sort of wonders where he lost his boyfriend (Blaine’s such a social butterfly), but Kurt also knows that the current crowd would more than understand his current predicament. Kurt is doing a tenth loop around the interlocking of pros and cons while rinsing out bottles to recycle, when he feels an arm loop around his waist.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear…or, in this case, the exact opposite: think of your doting boyfriend and he will arrive to check on you.

“Hey, babe,” Blaine mumbles against the sensitive skin of Kurt’s neck.

Despite the crinkle that’s been between his brows, Kurt feels himself shiver, his skin tightening much like his chest as his breath is stolen away, and a stuttering laugh lurches out of his chest. The pleasant tingle up his spine continues as Blaine strokes his hand up between Kurt’s shoulder blades, back down around Kurt’s waist, and, with a moment’s hesitation and a quick glance around, Blaine slides his hand into Kurt’s back pocket. With a solid squeeze from Blaine's hand, Kurt feels another chuckle rise up and bubble free. His boyfriend must be feeling tipsy. This isn’t generally what they do when in the company of others.

“Come on, you,” Kurt says, wrapping an arm around Blaine’s waist and urging him towards his bedroom. The trip to the bedroom is a bit of a struggle with Blaine stumbling a few times, they get a few teasing looks and winks, and Kurt is sort of worried about Santana making some sort of improper scene, but Brittany has her distracted and he and Blaine successfully slip into Kurt’s bedroom without too much fuss.

“ _Kurt_ ,” Blaine whines playfully, as Kurt twists to pull the curtain closed, “it’s almost time for the countdown.”

Kurt placates his pouty boyfriend by wrapping himself firmly around Blaine again, looping his arms around Blaine’s shoulders, and tugging mischievously at the loose curls at the back of Blaine’s neck.

“I just wanted some alone time with you. I sort of lost you there for a while,” Kurt explains, before placing kisses along Blaine’s jawline.

“That’s what happens when you invest yourself in recycling during party time,” Blaine teases lightheartedly and _astutely_ and Kurt suddenly feels too sober for Blaine’s drunken bout of perceptiveness.

“I-“ Kurt begins, not even sure what might come next.

_“10!”_

“Oh,” Kurt giggles, heart pound a bit from the combination of surprise and excitement. “I guess it’s time.”

“ _9!”_ Blaine joins in, shouting happily, sliding out of Kurt’s embrace just far enough so that he can take one of Kurt’s hands in each of his.

For a moment, Kurt feels a bit self-conscious, but with the squeeze of Blaine’s hands around his and the light seemingly beaming out of Blaine’s eyes, Kurt finds himself happily counting down until the noise descends into a cacophonous, jubilant roar and Blaine crashes his lips against Kurt’s. One of Blaine’s hands curving around his cheek and the other gripping his side, Kurt feels consumed by Blaine in the best way possible. Sound is blaring and meaningless but the feel of Blaine against him is comfortable and so wonderfully familiar. It almost feels like a dream that he’s kissing this man on New Year’s, like a movie. It’s glamorous in its own way. Everyone knows that Kurt loves glamor and, even in Bushwick, he has his glamor with Blaine and Unique and his other friends and this great community of queer and trans folks he has the chance to get to know. 

Just when Kurt feels that telltale ache in his chest from needing to take a breath, Blaine breaks away first, smoothing his thumb across Kurt’s cheekbone, eyes glistening, and softly asking, “What’s your resolution?”

“To keep up with the latest fashion trends, to push boundaries,“ Kurt replies haughtily, before tipping his head side to side and becoming more serious, ”and…to make this the best year yet and be the best boyfriend, friend, and son I can be,” Kurt promises seriously.

“ _Oh,_ ” Blaine praises, “those are good ones. I think I’ll just steal some your resolutions.”

“Is that so?” Kurt asks as he playfully appraises his boyfriend, eyes flitting across Blaine’s beautiful features, feeling himself smirk while he knows his eyes betray a different sentiment.

“Yep,” Blaine quips back teasingly, seeming unbothered by Kurt’s scrutiny and brazenly adorable enough to place a peck on Kurt’s nose.

Kurt feels himself being pulled in, being pulled towards Blaine, and he knows he is going to give in and he wants to give in and forget all about doing anything else but kissing his boyfriend, but he has one more resolution to consider: the thought that’s been bouncing around his head all night.

“Hey, Blaine?” Kurt inquires. It feels like whisper, because it’s spoken so intimately, uttered so close to Blaine’s skin as his lips nearly brush Blaine’s cheek, released from Kurt’s lips in the intimacy created in a room without walls surrounded by overwhelming shouting and music.

“Yeah, babe?” Blaine answers, looking up from under his thick eyelashes.

Kurt takes a deep breath and feels the effort it takes to force these words out. “What would you think if I said I wanted one of my resolutions to be to look into going to therapy and starting testosterone?”

“Does it matter what I think?” Blaine asks honestly, looking honestly a little surprised. “It’s your decision.”

“Of course it matters,” Kurt assures. “That’s why I’m asking you for your opinion. I haven’t made my mind up and I know that I’ll probably just circle around weighing costs and benefits until I finally just _chose something_.”

“So, if I give you my opinion, then I’ll be saving you time and effort?” Blaine clarifies and Kurt can tell Blaine still isn’t sure where and when it’s his place to offer his opinion. He can’t really blame Blaine seeing as he hasn’t always been sure tonight what he should be doing or saying either. Being trans hasn’t meant that he knows what to do all the time. Just tonight, he couldn’t tell whether he could clarify someone’s pronouns with them even though, if he’d actually thought about it for a second, he might have known the answer. It’s all still new to Kurt, so Kurt can understand that it’s all extra new to Blaine.

“You’ll be saving me time and effort,” Kurt promises. 

“Well, I think it could be complicated with NYADA. You could try to rearrange your classes now before the semester starts and take all your vocals-centered courses this semester and save any other classes for your last year and try to get an internship that either isn’t too vocals-intensive or is centered around somewhere you could get vocal training yourself,” Blaine offers, rubbing his palm against his forehead as he tries to wrack his brain and Kurt wants to kiss him silly to make up for accidentally transferring those lines of confusion plaguing his own brow earlier to his boyfriend’s forehead. “I don’t know, babe,” Blaine continues, groaning quietly and dropping his hand to instead rub up and down Kurt’s arms. “Ask me again when I can think more clearly. Ultimately, I think that, if you like the idea and you want to do it, you can make anything work, Kurt. I know you can.” 

“Thank you, Blaine. I really do think that this year will be a great one,” Kurt half-states and half-promises, leaning in to capture the lips he craves again, and feel the man he loves. Many Christmases, many New Year’s celebrations, many new friends, and many kisses – Kurt can see a beautiful future. Starting today, it’s a new year, a new opportunity, a chance to make the most of it, and the people to share all the new adventures with...

**Author's Note:**

> **Just a reminder: If you’re thinking about subscribing (thank you), subscribe to the series itself and not this post or else you might not get notified about the updates.**


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